It’s that time of year folks: BATHING SUIT SEASON. With that comes nothing but a flurry of “encouragement” to find your best body or challenge yourself to a new “lifestyle”, which on a good day is annoying, but on a bad day can send someone into a self-hatred spiral that may last for weeks. I imagine you’re thinking, “What the hell does this have to do with sex?” and my response is, “Well, EVERYTHING!”
It’s hard being a therapist with expertise in sex without constantly evaluating how things, such as bathing suit season, affect our sexuality. I mean if you’re dreading going to the beach or wearing less clothing because it’s hot out, I am going to venture a guess that sex with the lights on may be a trying experience. I’m also going to guess that if you are worried about how you look or the size of your body, it’s kind of hard to have a fulfilling sexual experience. I mean, if you’re focused on whether you have back rolls when having sex from behind, you’re definitely not paying attention to how good it feels or how freeing it may be to have sex with someone who is clearly attracted to your body.
So what can we do about this? Well, the simple answer is to say, “Screw you!” to the world and live our lives in a way that doesn’t even recognize or pay mind to bathing suite season. But if it were that easy, I probably wouldn’t be writing this post. So, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Change the channel when you see a diet commercial. Surround yourself with people who love you for you and respect not only your right to be who you are, but their right to love themselves unconditionally. When it comes to sex, do some research around which positions will offer you the most pleasure while still being comfortable. Books like Curvy Girl Sex, By Elle Chase can help you with that! Also, talk to your partner about your concerns/insecurities and let them know that you’re working on it. Ideally, they should be by your side supporting you and offering encouragement and love.
Just remember: Sex is for EVERY BODY. Plus, you’re lovely. You truly are. And your lovely self deserves tons of orgasms and fun, happy, sex.