WomanBra

By Teresa Powers

The first time I ever slept with a woman, my boyfriend was right there next to me. Granted, this isn’t the normal way most people sleep with a woman for the first time. I came out as bisexual during my second year of college, when I was already in a happily committed relationship with a man. When I finally worked up the courage to ask about doing a threesome, he was more than happy to go for it.

Boyfriend and I had always had okay communication during our relationship. But this was a big challenge. How were we going to both sleep with someone else, at the same time no less, and not be better at communicating? So we sat down and talked about what we we nervous about and what this meant for us; what we wanted from the other person, and what we wanted after the threesome.

We found someone on Tinder…

When the night of the threesome (The Threesome) finally came, and when we were in her bedroom, I felt incredibly self conscious of my body. (Did I look weird? Why do my boobs have to be so small? Why aren’t my legs longer? Does my vagina look fatter than hers? Is my vagina normal? What is happening!?) I saw her as competition, someone to compare myself to, and someone who would make me feel disappointed, embarrassed – inferior as a woman. But after some liquid courage, we dove in – and let me tell you, the sex was incredible. All I had to focus on was enjoying myself, and enjoying her body, and my boyfriend’s. Although I had been incredibly nervous, I got to do one of my favorite activities and just celebrate and enjoy both my body, and theirs. It was an incredibly empowering experience – to enjoy another woman’s body and to not view her as competition when a guy was involved. Rather, we were able to collaborate, not compete, while having amazing, incredible, wonderful orgasms.

Because my boyfriend and I had talked so much beforehand, and had had the serious, albeit awkward talks with the other woman about what we wanted, what she wanted, how we all felt about it, both as a couple and as individuals, we were able to emerge from the experience even stronger. My boyfriend and I have better sex now because I feel more empowered to demand better sex and better orgasms. We have better communication now because we know great things can happen when you have those official conversations. And we have a better relationship now because we’re both so much more comfortable, both with our bodies, and with our communication. Not only this, but I was able to receive some (amazing) evidence that women are more powerful collaborating, than we are competing, and that truly great things can happen when we do not view each other as opponents – but rather partners.

P.S. – It’s been a year and a half and we’re still going strong. We’ve also done four more threesomes. More pleasure, less shame.

About the Writer:

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I’m a 20 year old college student in Boston, majoring in Communication & Marketing. I’m originally from Oregon, and have my amazing parents to thank for both my intersectional feminism and sex + wellness education. I very strongly believe that pleasure is good, shame is bad, and knowledge is power!

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