Lets be honest—if you are in a long-term, committed, relationship it is likely that you are looking for ways to spice up your sex life (at one time or another). From kinky new toys to watching daring porn films, your typical sex positions or foreplay can often feel stale and uneventful. You may have talked with your partner about bending the boundaries that surround your sexual relationship—Should we try some roleplaying? What would it be like to bring another person into the bedroom? Those are pretty common ways of turning the heat up…
But have you ever wondered what it would be like to see your partner having sex with another person–to be a submissive player in your lover’s tryst with someone else? Whether it’s an erotic fantasy that plays out in the safety of your mind or a sex act that you’ve negotiated, cuckolding has been around for centuries and will likely never cease (but let’s be real, who would want it to?).
What does history say about cuckolding?
Historically, cuckolding referred to a man whose wife was “adulterous.” Overtime, the term morphed into the act of one partner watching his/her/their partner have sex with another person. Interestingly enough, the actual term stems from the cuckoo bird that would lay their eggs in another bird’s nest and said bird would help to hatch and take care of the cuckoo’s hatchlings. Such evil geniuses those cuckoo birds are!
So what was once a misogynistic term used out of fear that a wife would have a sexual affair and bear the children of another man (see also: Shakespeare’s Othello), it has now morphed into an often exciting form of dominance and submission between consenting players. I mean can you name anything more submissive than to stand by and watch your monogamous partner being taken by someone else? What a thrill (or a nightmare, depending on your perspective)!
So how do you keep the jealousy at bay?
Just like any new sexual act that you and your partner(s) may be exploring it is crucial that you have a detailed conversation about what could go wrong and the feelings that may come up. If one person is really into it, but the other isn’t, that is a serious recipe for disaster. Communication is key when it comes to almost everything in a relationship, but especially sex. Seeing your partner with someone else could be devastating and potentially toxic. It’s also important to remember that often times the erotic images and scenarios we think about are not ones that we want to ACTUALLY do in real life. So just because it makes you hot when you masturbate, that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a good idea to take to the next level. Discuss it at length and if it’s right for the two of you, go and get your cuckold on. No judgment here!
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