So you’ve made it to the next stage of development. Level unlocked–Congratulations! Nervous? Don’t be! The following will help you navigate the sex talk for ages 4-8.
Where’d My Baby Go?
During this stage of development, you should be far more black and white in your explanations. You shouldn’t shy away from talking to your child about what happens during sex. One way to describe it would be saying, “ A man’s penis enters a women’s vagina, it releases sperm, the sperms find an egg, the sperm enters the egg and the egg grows into a baby. The baby stays in the woman’s belly for about 9 months and when it is fully grown and can live outside of the woman, she pushes it out of her vagina or the doctors remove it from her belly, and that’s how babies are made.” You’ll notice that everything was very straightforward. Each step in the process was direct and to the point. Of course, as all kids do, they’ll have questions and you can answer them to the best of your ability. Just make sure that you encourage the curiosity. Make sure not to shut your child down. You want them to feel like they can come to you with questions in the future. And honestly, if you don’t know the answer, tell them that. You may also consider saying that you’ll do some research and you can talk about it later. Just make sure to follow up!
Your Kid Won’t Go On a Sex Rampage Because You’re Honest About Sex!
If you become worried that discussing sex with your child at this age will lead to sex too early, don’t. Kids are actually less likely to experiment if sex positive education has been provided at an earlier age because they already have the answers and they don’t feel like they are missing out on anything. Just make sure to reiterate that sex is something that will happen much, much later in their life.
Love and Sex and Marriage? Not Necessarily…
I also think it’s unnecessary to state that sex happens when people love each other and are married. That’s not always true. Sure, you’re not going to talk about one night stands. But, you can talk about how people have sex because they enjoy being close to one another. That might be because they like the one someone looks and how they make them feel. It might seem like something insignificant, but one your child gets older, they may very well have sex with someone they don’t want to marry (I’m sure we all can relate!). We don’t want to contribute to shame they could experience down the line regarding their sexual choices.
Tip: If you need some support, take a look at this book: It’s Not The Stork!.
**The only draw back is the book isn’t gender inclusive. What do I mean by that? It refers to gender binaries, i.e. boys and girls, which, if you have followed my Instagram page, you’d know that the terms “boy” and “girl” are not the only gender!**
Like what you just read? Take a look at the following blog posts
Part 1 The Birds, The Bees & A Huge Migraine: Birth to 4-years-oldI Love You. Don’t Rape: A Conversation with Our Sons.
Nudity & Parenting: When Should I Stop Being Nude Around My Kids?
My Body Is Mine: 6 Ways to Keep Your Child Safe From Unsafe Touch