I’d say most of us have experienced some sort of “mind fuck” in our lifetime. Maybe by an ex-lover, someone we thought was our friend or a person in a power position over us. These experiences are non-consensual and typically unpleasant. So, it might come as a surprise that mind fucking can be extremely erotic and sexy in the realm of kink.

WTF is a Mind Fuck?

Mind fucking is a form of kink/BDSM where the Dominant makes their submissive believe something really extreme is taking place when in reality it isn’t. This extreme idea offers the submissive a level of erotic stress and excitement that would not be present if the submissive was fully aware of what was happening. For example, the Dominant may blindfold and restrain their submissive and tell them they are being watched by others, something the submissive has consented to and would provide a level of pleasure when in reality it isn’t actually happening. This example is a little less complex, but you get the idea.

Communication, Trust & Consent: But Of Course!

Kink & BDSM are always about communication and consent. Nothing should ever be done that isn’t discussed at length and agreed upon, enthusiastically, by all people involved in the scene. When it comes to mind fucking, this is also true. And if you are really skilled at the art of mind fuck, you will know how to engage in this type of play by using your partner’s interests, while also playing within the confines of the agreed upon scene.

The Benefits of Mind Fucking

Mind fucking can be a great way to connect and build a stronger bond with your play partner. When someone agrees to this type of play, they are putting all of their trust in their partner’s hands. They know that they’re literally going to be tricked and manipulated into believing something is happening that is both exhilarating and stressful, while also trusting that they are safe and their partner has their best interest in mind (no pun intended).

But…

Things don’t always go as planned. People aren’t always who they say they are. And trust is easily broken. If you attempt a mind fuck with someone you don’t know well or have never played with before, you are taking some serious risks. The mind is a very powerful thing and when abused experience can be really scary and damage can be done (both physically and mentally). And if you’re the dominant, don’t do anything that you aren’t 100% sure about. If it is at all possible that the scene may be too much for the submissive, don’t go there.

Aftercare is Not Optional.

It is highly recommended that after engaging in any type of BDSM you take time to comfort, connect with, and discuss the scene with your play partner(s). This is ESPECIALLY true when it comes to mind fucking. I mean, you just screwed with someone’s mind, it would make sense that they would need some emotional healing and support right after. Validate their feelings, check-in around what felt good/what didn’t, and make sure that you don’t leave them at their most vulnerable.

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One thought on “Mind Fucking 101

  1. After care is something many tend to look over. At times after care can be on going for several days depending on how intense the scene was more so when it comes to mind fuck. Ever during normal play if intense after care should be provided. What we call sub-drop may not take place right after or it could be a couple of days after.
    Communication before during and after. Communication during making sure everything is ok , and knowing where their mind is.

    Good Article

    Posted on November 27, 2017 at 11:09 am